Tell her she can't have a vagina
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
