So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
