did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
