I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
