Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Congratulations! We have a period
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