It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
