now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
