He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
