Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
