She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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