He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
