We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
