So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
MIDGETS
????
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
