I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
