If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
