so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
