You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
