Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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