Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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