I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
