? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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