Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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