Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
