HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
