I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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