what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
