i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm like, not good at living.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
