Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
