then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
