Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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