It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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