i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
