he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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