Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize