wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
