I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
