Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
