Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
