After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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