I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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