Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
