Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If the people youβre with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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