let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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