I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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