We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
