think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
