You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
