Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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