A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
