I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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