you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize