Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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