Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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