Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
