I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
