; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
only you would photoshop your dick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize