Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
