if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
