You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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