If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
