Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
