I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
