He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize