I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
